Forgiveness

Who do we need to forgive?

One of the hardest things for me as a Christian has been forgiveness.  The people who hurt us the most are often those we care the most about, or we have invested ourselves in.  If we didn't care for, or love the person who hurt us, it wouldn't have hurt as bad.  We deal with disappointment differently depending on who it is hurting us.  We don't really expect a stranger in a grocery store to treat us with love, so when they offend us it is pretty easy to just go on about our business and forget about it.  However; if the person who offends us is someone we care about, such as a spouse or sibling, we expect them to treat us a certain way and when they don't, it is often hard to forgive them.  If we don't forgive others, God will not forgive us for offending him.  (Mark 11:16, Matthew 6:15, Luke 23:34, Matthew 18:35)

So many relationships are destroyed by unforgiveness.  I have heard of siblings who had not spoken in twenty years because of an argument over a card game.  Marriages are often destroyed because one person hurts the others feelings or breaks their trust and are never forgiven for it.  Unforgiveness leads to anger, bitterness and even hate.

How often do we forgive?

It is true that some people continue to hurt us over and over; but we must forgive them. This has been a real struggle for me, and I have to pray often and ask God to help me forgive certain people. In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter came to him (Jesus) and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother offend me and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus answered him, "I say to you, not seven times, but seventy times seven."  My feeling on this is, that when you are continually hurt by someone, forgive them, but then lower your expectations of them, and perhaps spend less time with them, or separate yourself from them completely (unless you are married to them).  Just because we have to forgive them, does not mean that we have to continue to be abused by them.

If you close your eyes, and think about a certain person and feel anger or another negative feeling, you have not forgiven them.  When you can close your eyes and think of that person without feeling those negative feelings you have truly forgiven them.  You can think about that person and not even think about that hurtful thing that they did to you, and that is where we find peace and freedom!

Summary:

If there is anyone in your life, your past, or even your childhood that has hurt you, and you still feel anger or hate over it, please ask God to help you forgive them, so that He can forgive you of your sins against Him.  It is so important for you.  I believe you cannot grow spiritually until you have forgiven them and by continuing to harbor those hurt feelings is like giving them power over you, your happiness and your spiritual life.

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